This morning as I was lying in bed I reminded myself out loud that “my actions resulted in success.” It would be terrible of me to assume otherwise. After all, I had spent my entire twenties avoiding the pursuit of trans medicine, believing it to be impossible, but when I was 31 I set my mind to it and it happened.

These surgeries don’t just happen.

They are a direct result of my actions. I was the one who went to my doctor for help. I was the one who went to all the meetings to follow through with the doctor she referred me to. I worked with her to get referrals to Crane Center and UCSF. Me. I did that.

It didn’t just happen because I wished for it. I worked for it and I received it. All of it. Facial feminization wasn’t even in the realm of possibility for me 18 years ago, but I had known from then that I needed vaginoplasty. But I got both and I am so grateful for that, as my dysphoria was significant.

I hadn’t even realized how much my face bothered me until I had started to live as a woman. Maybe I already knew deep down—these things usually work that way—but it became blaringly obvious to me as I began estrogen therapy and noticed my reaction to seeing my face every single time I looked in the mirror.

But I did it.

My diabetes didn’t just manage itself. My surgeries were completely hanging in the balance if I had failed to get my A1c down below 7.0 and I did it. In a few years time I had gotten it down from 10.8 to 7.0, and I had my facial surgery. But a year later it went up to 7.2 and my vaginoplasty was delayed.

But I put my entire soul into getting it to 6.9 or below, and in a single month I pulled out all the stops, becoming an insane fanatic with my diet. Kale was definitely involved. I pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of, getting myself out on one hour walks every single day, or some of those days going on 1-2 hour bike rides instead. I was maintaining a strict schedule for each day, getting plenty of water, never eating anything out of my list of approved snacks. I didn’t even snack at all, really. That’s how disciplined I was.

I got it down to 6.7 in a month and was back on the schedule in another two.

This didn’t just happen.

My actions resulted in success. That is something I need to constantly remind myself of, because it’s not seeming to register in my mind that it’s true. It feels like I got lucky, and in a lot of ways I did, but I must never forget how much perseverence led to my success in this matter.

And if I can succeed with this, what else am I capable of?

These things didn’t just happen. My actions resulted in success.

Do you have success journeys you would like to share in the comments?